Healthy Marriages Still Have Irreconcilable Differences

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Why the Best Marriages have Irreconcilable Differences

It’s 7:55pm. I’ve just put the baby down for what I hope will be the night, while Grant tucks Lily in. I’m indulging in a cup of tea after a rather uninspiring week.

I open the cupboard and smile to myself at the label on the box of tea.

example of differences in marriage

My husband.

husband irreconcilable differences

A few months ago, we got Lily an activity book, boasting more than 100 stickers.  (Yay ~ more to pick up off the floor!)

Some of those stickers were labels, meant for older kids to apply to the corresponding image.

Well, since Lily was too young to read (or to really care about labeling at all), my husband found a better use for them.

  • On the eggs, “Clock“.
  • On the jam, “Milk“.
  • On the coconut oil, “Chicken“.

A dozen or so labels, hidden around my our kitchen, like some sort of sick joke a scavenger hunt.

Part of me winced at the incongruity.  Not to mention the visual clutter of an unnecessary label.

But another part of me smiled . . . both at the silliness of it all, and at the way God has used our differences for good.

You see, this very blog demonstrates my appreciation for an organized and orderly home.  And yet, my husband crashes in with fun, excitement, and a dash of beautiful chaos.

Differences and Disagreements in Marriage

Although minor, our differences have led to a few disagreements over the years.  We’ve driven each other nuts on a few occasions.

  • He used to see no point in making the bed (since we’d just get back in it at the end of the day).
  • I’ve been known to use decorative hand towels (that should never actually be used to dry hands).
  • He has never been a big fan of vegetables. (#understatement)
  • I spent a good 8 years as a vegetarian.
  • He is tech-driven. In everything from computers to kitchen appliances.
  • I despise (with. passion.) seeing cords in my home.

Some might say we have irreconcilable differences. But oh, how God has used them for good.

How God Uses Irreconcilable Differences

Through these differences, we wind up blocking each other from heading too far down the different paths of our own tendencies. And in doing so, we protect each other from imbalance. From extremes. (Which, I would argue, are never healthy.)

Through these differences, we have no choice but to surrender part of ourselves to the other.

It brings to mind a quote from My Utmost for His Highest.

irreconcilable differences in marriage

As I sip my tea, I consider how the “sunglasses” label is all that remains from his scavenger hunt.

It adds visual clutter and is, of course, inaccurate.  But every time I see it, I’m reminded of him and his silly sense of humor.  I’m reminded of the fun he adds to our home.

I’m reminded of our irreconcilable differences.

And I can’t help but thank God for them.

How might the differences between you and your spouse be used for good?

4 Replies to “Healthy Marriages Still Have Irreconcilable Differences”

  1. livewellplaytogether says: Reply

    This is beautifully written! What a great reminder to be grateful and enjoy the little differences. <3

    1. Thank you, Mary Leigh! And yes, a reminder I seem to need daily. 😉

  2. Ahhh, we have this same thing going on. Except I’m the one who crashes in and leaves everything askew.

    1. Ha! And you’re maybe also the one who is more laid back, then? 😉

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